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My Wife, The Germ

Yes, you could say my wife is a Germ. 
But you'd do so at your own risk.
I said it once, but fortunately I saved the moment by telling her that she was the best Germ I'd ever caught.

This line of thought started at The Crossroads Café - one of Singapore's best-named restaurants, and a personal favorite of mine.
Located at the intersection of two major roads, Scotts and Orchard, it's a hangout for people of all types, from all places.

I was eating nasi goreng (Malaysian fried rice) there one day, when a man from Switzerland asked to share my table. We sat and talked for an hour about his travels, but I was distracted. For some reason, I couldn't remember if a person from Switzerland was a Swiss or a Swede.

Glenns' Wonderings

After he left, I remembered the obvious. 
Swedes are from Sweden. Swiss are from Switzerland.
But, it strikes me as curious, the way we assign these nicknames to the various peoples of the world.
People from Sweden are Swedes. 
People from Switzerland are Swiss. 
Those from Britain are Brits. 
From Thailand come the Thai.

But we don't follow this convention for all nations. 
It doesn't work for the United States, for example.

Nor for Canada, Venezuela, or Peru.
Strange, isn't it?

From Australia come Aussies. From Finland come Fins.  From Czechoslovakia come Czechs. From Poland come Poles.
Turkey has Turks. Greece has Greeks. Afghans come from Afghanistan. From Japanese there used to be Japs, though you don't hear that one much anymore (except in black and white war movies) .

So, why isn't my wife of German heritage a germ? 
Other than the fact I hate to sleep alone, I mean.

Why aren't Antiguans called Ants?
Or Cubans called Cubs? Or would it be Cubes?

Once you start following this, you open a whole can of worms.
For example:
If you come from Italy, are you an It?
Are Ugandans Ugs?
Are Singaporeans Singers, or are they Sinners?
Is someone from Indian an Innie? 
If so, does that make someone from Outagouna an Outie?

Is a group of Armenians an Army?
Will we find Bathers in Bath?
Are there a lot of Bras in Brazil?
And are those people from Madagascar just plain Mad?

If we get someone from Kenya and someone from the Barbados together, do we have Ken and Barbie?
And we shouldn't even joke about people from Assisi, Coquille, or Fuqing, I think.
I mean, it's just a name, but we know how inflammatory names can be.

By this point, you may be wondering what I am.
My wife, Angie, a little perturbed by my 'Hey Germ' comments, looked for the opportunity to abuse one of my bloodlines. It wasn't much use, though.
For I am half-Irish, and 'Ire' doesn't count for much.
My other half?
Well, let's just say that, like Sean Connery, I got off Scot-free on that one.....

GH 6/98
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